If you’ve ever hesitated to invest in yourself because you couldn’t calculate the return, this episode might shift how you think about growth.

As solopreneurs, it’s easy to justify investing in tools, programs, or tactical solutions. Those feel measurable. Practical. Responsible.

But investing in visibility, branding, proximity, and the rooms you put yourself in can feel different. It can feel indulgent. Optional. Even premature.

And yet, those are often the investments that shift the most internally.

In this episode of The Solopreneur CEO Podcast, Carin and Marcia reflect on their recent experience participating in the 40 Over 40 branding campaign and attending the gala, and what being in that room revealed about leadership, identity, and environment.

This conversation isn’t about glamour.

It’s about growth.

Listen to the Episode

In this episode, Carin and Marcia unpack how certain investments don’t just improve your business, they expand how you see yourself.

They talk about the internal shift that happens when you place yourself in rooms with other high-level women, how proximity recalibrates your standards, and why visibility reinforces identity in ways strategy alone cannot. You’ll also hear an honest reflection on the emotional friction of growth, the vulnerability of being seen, and why investing in yourself often feels uncomfortable right before it feels expansive.

This episode builds on previous conversations about leadership and environment by grounding them in lived experience. It explores why discipline alone cannot elevate you into the next level of leadership, and how the environments you choose quietly shape the decisions you make.

This is a grounded conversation about identity, investment, and why the rooms you normalize determine how you lead.

What We Talk About In This Episode

• Why investing in yourself feels different than investing in tactics.

• How branding experiences reinforce identity, not just marketing.

• The power of proximity and being in rooms that stretch you.

• Why visibility changes how you see yourself and how others see you.

• The emotional highs and lows of stepping into bigger spaces.

• The difference between expense and identity investment.

• Why environment often shapes leadership more than discipline.

Key Takeaways

• Identity investments compound in ways tactical investments cannot.

• The rooms you normalize shape your standards and decisions.

• Proximity accelerates belief and confidence.

• Visibility reinforces leadership posture.

• Growth often feels uncomfortable right before it feels expansive.

Continue the Conversation

If this episode made you reflect on the rooms you’ve been in or the ones you’ve been avoiding, you’re invited to continue the conversation inside the Solopreneur CEO community.

It’s a thoughtful, low-noise space for solopreneurs who want support, perspective, and meaningful conversations about stepping into CEO-level leadership.

🌿 Join us at thesolopreneurceo.com

Episode Transcript

Solopreneur CEO Show Episode 8: Below is the full transcript of this episode for those who prefer to read or want to revisit specific parts of the conversation.

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Carin

Hello, welcome back to Solopreneur CEO. I am loving this topic that we're going to talk about today. So a few months ago Marcia sent me this thing and she's like, we should do this. And I'm like, what is this?

It was an experience called 40 Over 40 by a local photographer, Elle Yeon. We're going to be interviewing her next week so I'm really excited about that episode too.

She was pulling together 40 women over 40 because you know how you always see those 30 under 30 lists or 40 under 40. What about the rest of us? We're still hot, we're still popping.

Of course I loved it when I saw the title. It came with branding photos, so all the photos you've been seeing, our new podcast cover art, our photos all over the web, that's all from the photo shoot that we did.

And then last night, we went to a gala. I was like, oh, this is so fun. We knew we would be recording right after the gala, that was like the completion of our 40 Over 40 experience. We thought we would record this episode and talk about the importance of getting in the room.

What rooms you choose to be in and making those investments. Because there was an investment in this experience that we paid for as partners for our business. But why did we think that was an investment we needed to make? What did we really feel like the return on investment was and why we think you should be making investments, not exactly, 40 over 40, but what investments are you making and why? What rooms are you choosing to get into and why?

Marcia:

I'm so glad that you agreed to it because when I sent it, I had been watching for many months because Elle started this process last year. It got towards the end of the year and she was like, I really need to finish this project. She reached out and said, Hey, would you consider this? I thought the timing couldn't have been any more serendipitous with our rebranding.

I was like, let me ask, could Carin and I do this together? We did get individual branding photos and then also the Solopreneur CEO branding shots too.

The whole experience was amazing. It's funny because in between when we shot the photos, got the edited pictures back, and then had the gala last night, there was that whole 2016 campaign on social media, and so I was scrolling through all of my Instagram and I saw the goddess sessions that we did. I think the first one was back in 2016. That was an experience with Charmed Cardinals where we would go into the woods (it sounds so hokey, right?). I remember talking to Mina, the photographer back then, and I was like, wait, we're doing what?

And she called them Goddess Sessions and I was like, okay. You know, YOLO. I'm that person. I'm like, let's do it. I don't care, what's there to lose?

So I was looking back at those photos and for that brand and the society, it was more of a sisterhood type experience.

Whereas when Carin and I did this experience with Elle, it was more okay, we wanna look professional and like you're trusted mentor. It was a totally different vibe, but both investments were amazing. They had different reasons and different ROIs.

Going into last night, I had some nerves. I have nerves going into anything. I just have a hard time going into new environments and even with family, you know, like holidays, all of that. Going to the event I knew basically everyone who would be there just from the campaign, from Elle sharing on her social media. But there is still that hesitation, that questioning.

We knew that we were supposed to be in the room, but I think there's always going to be that fear, that hesitation because we don't know what's going to come of the evening.

Of course, it was beautiful. It was so well curated. She created such a beautiful experience. Carin and I talked to a couple other people. I connected with someone who I really wanted to. I had the intention to go in and talk with her.

The night was a huge success, but that's how it is as a business owner, as a woman, as a leader. Even if you have the doubt and the fear, you still need to be visible, right?

You still need to get into the rooms. You still need to make the conversations happen and just go in with some intention. Let the magic happen, because it was magical.

Carin:

It is magical and a lot of the magic is what even happens to you internally. A lot of times we don't make these types of investments. We say no to these types of opportunities because we don't quite feel ready. We're like, uh, I don't know. I still need to update my website. I don't have business cards. I don't know what my one-liner is, or elevator speech.

So you might be like, I'm not really ready. I'm working with my clients. That's good enough. I'm good. You know, I get a lot of referrals. I don't need to go see anybody.

It can be very easy to just stay in your cave.

But what happens to you internally when you do show up, it can feel like magic because you are stepping into your Cinderella shoes. You know, it might not be a gala, it could literally just be a networking event, a coworking thing, a coffee with a person. It doesn't have to be fancy. But whatever it is that helps you start to be who you need to be to keep your business growing and moving forward in the direction of your vision is always a good investment. It doesn't have to have a formula like okay, if I spend $1, I'm going to get $3 back.

ROI is not always that clean. It can be investing in some relationship building that may take two or three years. It might not be a tomorrow thing, but maybe that person still ends up working with you or referring other people to you between now and then, or whatever.

It's never a bad idea to invest in something that's going to help you build relationships or claim the identity of CEO and I own a business, I run a company. If it helps you do one of those two things, it is always a good ROI.

But the magical thing about rising into that mindset and that identity, it's really hard to explain. It just really does happen inside. You get fired up, right? You feel aligned. People talk about ease and flow and those are so esoteric. You're like, okay, what's ease, what's flow? I don't know what that feels like. But that is what happens, right?

Like when you just step into that identity. And you feel like you're vibing. When you are in a certain mood, right? Like you are putting yourself in that mood.

You're putting yourself in the mood of I'm a CEO, I own my business, I'm making boss moves, I'm doing the damn thing.

That is worth the investment. It might not, again, be a three to one ROI, but anything that can put you in that vibe and in that mode and in that identity is always going to be worth it. And of course, building the relationships. Because like Marcia said, having a conversation with someone. It's always going to be worth having those connections and making those moves.

Marcia:

I put on my little Excel spreadsheet, " Instead of borrowing other people's audiences, why don't you borrow their courage or borrow their energy". When you get into these rooms, with these other people and they're just pinging and they're excited and they're feeling it like you actually absorb that. That's why I love events so much. It's embodiment at the cellular level. You get into these places and you see the way that other people are, and you're there so obviously you're supposed to be there. So you can borrow that energy from them. Not even borrow it, but absorb it.

I think the identity shift, it's huge. And I've also been thinking about this a lot lately, nobody talks about the feelings of friction that happen when you're growing.

And so when we're talking about an identity shift, we don't mean that you go from like, oh, I'm Bobo ass Marcia to, I'm this super successful briefcase carrying woman. You're going in and out. Right? You're stepping into the room, you're stepping out of the room. At some point, yeah, I think it does become your actual identity, but it's not like a black and white polarized thing where it's all of a sudden you make this decision and you're there.

I think we have talked about that quite a bit, but maybe the past week, I've had some really low lows and not like I need medication or anything, but I just get to this catastrophic thinking, like I should really just burn it all down. Then five minutes later I'm like, okay, Marsh, very dramatic. Which is part of my brand, you know. I feel like when you're going through all these shifts, you're ping ponging back and forth. You're making progress, but then your brain will get involved and it's like, yeah, but are you really making progress?

Our brains can be such an ass, right? And so I just want when people are listening to what we're saying, to know that the experience is a process. It's the shedding of the skin. Ooh, this episode is going to be out on fire Horse Day. Oh my God, Carin.

Carin:

I'm really excited about the fire horse. What you're saying about borrowing someone's courage and energy is so true. It's actually the reason why Tony Robbins is a multimillion billionaire or whatever, along with other people who throw these big live events. They know that if they get you in the room, they get you in the energy, they have everyone fired up, you're going to feed off of that and you're going to be in this mode and this mood.

They're going to help you get into the mood and then now you're just saying yes to stuff. You're buying $40,000 programs or whatever. You know, you're walking on fire. I don't know what they actually do. I've never been. But that is the reason why live events and being in a room with other people and feeding off of the energy is so effective.

It is literally borrowing their energy.

You're right about going in and out. It's hard. That's why we want to talk to solopreneurs specifically. We're not talking to people who have huge businesses or have teams. We are very specifically talking to those one woman shows because we know how hard it is.

We know the literal mind fuck that happens. Like that little meme that talked about the day in the life of an entrepreneur that applies so viscerally to solopreneurs, right? It's so easy to be in your vortex. You're like, is this great? I think it's great.

An example is, I've been sending my personal email list a daily email.

I send them Monday through Friday. because I'm not a weekender. That's my time. And I assume other people also wanna enjoy that time without reading an email. I was probably ready to quit at day eight. At the beginning I'm like, this is a great idea. Oh yes, I'm going to do it. I'm all in.

And I'm not a batcher. I have to write fresh every day. That's just how it flows. So of course that means now I have a new daily to do and I'm like, oh my God, why did I sign up for this? I mean, all the things, right?

Day one I thought, this is a great idea. I'm all in. Yay. You know, I'm in a group with other people who are emailing.

I'm like, yes, we're doing this guys. By day eight I'm like, this is stupid, nobody's replying. They don't click, they're unsubscribing. Why am I doing this? Day 12, I get a sale and I'm like, oh my God, I'm a genius. I'm the best ever. This is the bomb. Maybe I'll have another low next week.

But the point is it's never all, any one thing or another. And that's why virtual rooms just on that point are also worthwhile. It's not as effective as in-person rooms, but if you're in a group or in a society like we have with the Success Secret Society. Being in those virtual spaces with other people who can be excited for you, and remind you that this is a great idea and help celebrate your wins and help pick you up when you're having a low. It's never going to be a bad investment to be in the room with other people. Live is better, but virtual is also just as effective, especially when you have live calls like on Zoom.

Marcia:

Our member was on her first retreat and I've been watching her social media. I can't wait to get her update because retreats are where it's at. Events are good but when you can unplug completely from your real life and just go somewhere and fully immerse yourself, that is a beautiful thing.

That's not like a lead in for us. We'll definitely have retreats in the future, but like right now we're focused on our virtual summit. Which I need to focus on more.

But anyway, getting in the room. Feeling those identity shifts and also just knowing that the bouncing back and forth and hitting the bumpers and everything, that is just a part of it.

That's what we signed up for. That's why we get the benefits of having time control. I did a blog entry about this, about how it's not time freedom that we get. It's time control.

I took Wednesday off to go to DC to see the venerable monks closing ceremony. And how have you not heard of them? I told Carin about this at the gala last night, and my mom, she didn't know about it either. This is how I know the news is failing us because these gentlemen walked 2300 miles from Fort Worth, Texas to Washington, DC. They started in October. They had a specific path that went through all these different communities.

I had been watching them since, I think the end of November. One of our members shared something that they had posted. I was like, let me find out about these monks. And so I started following and I would share it. This is how you know Carin's never on social. Because I was sharing it on my story. Oh my God, they gave me so much hope and peace and oh, so beautiful.

Anyways, I was like don't have time freedom. We have time control. So we get to decide, am I going to work for four hours on Saturday so that I can do whatever I want on Tuesday or whatever. But that's just part of what goes into being a solopreneur. We like the lifestyle of being able to decide what it is we want to do, when we want to do it.

So I think that is a good thing, being able to control our time. Not having to say like, Hey boss? I let my clients know. I'm like, I'm not going to be available on this day.

Carin:

Yeah, I love all of that and yes, I want to be on social more, but just haven't quite got there yet. I loved when you talked about the monks and the commitment that that takes. Oh my gosh.

But that's the kind of commitment we have to have in our business, right? We do. We have to be committed that way. If I'm going to put a bow on this episode, it’s if you've been feeling kind of stuck or disconnected or you just really are looking for a different vibe find some people to get in a room with.

In person is best, but virtual can work too. But don't avoid getting in the room and making those connections and feeding off of that energy and building those relationships and the ROI will come. Whether it's just you getting into that vibe or an actual monetary ROI, it'll always be worth the investment.